The first line of this chapter is “If you are not anxious about your anxiety then you are not anxious.” This is a line that I love to quote. It’s a great reminder that you don’t have to be anxious about anything if you aren’t anxious. It’s the “if you aren’t anxious” part of anxious attachment that I think most of us relate to the most.
Anxiety is a state of mind that is very commonly seen among the masses. Many people have no idea what it means and it can be quite upsetting. In fact, some people have no idea that they have it or that they suffer from it at all. But there is another way to be anxious. For those of us who have anxious attachment, we are not always anxious about it.
The main thing that makes anxious attachment so powerful and so difficult to overcome for most people is the fact that it is not a permanent condition, and that there are often things we do that make us anxious. For instance, perhaps we like the way a particular thing makes us feel or the way that we know something is going to happen. We might think or expect that something bad is going to happen or that we will get the outcome we have been looking for.
This is where anxious attachment becomes a lot more difficult for most people. We try to look at our situation as a temporary challenge in which we can actually cope with the problem at hand. We want to feel good about our situation because that is what is important to us. But what if we start to notice that a certain problem is really not a problem at all and that there are many other solutions that are more desirable.
It is true that we can be anxious about our problems and be glad that we are not facing them when we are not actually doing anything wrong. But we can also be anxious about something that is not a problem at all and that there are many other possible solutions that are more desirable. This is where anxiety becomes a lot more difficult for most people.
Anxiety also seems to lead to a lot of bad decisions. The fact that anxiety is often so difficult to control is a good reason to read up on it. You can go to the Internet and find tons of books that talk about anxiety. Some of them are better than others, but all of them will give you the same basic information.
The first step would be to identify the anxiety trigger. Once you are sure what anxiety is, the next step would be to identify the anxiety response that is responsible for it. Anxiety usually triggers two different responses: an anxiety response and a worry response. The anxiety response is a very general response to fear, it tends to be short lived. It will also be more or less intense depending on how much you’ve been exposed to anxiety triggers.
The anxiety response is much more specific. The anxiety response is what the body reacts to, so once you know which trigger you have, you can find the response that is responsible for the anxiety trigger.
The worry response is a much more specific response to the anxiety response and a much more long term response to the anxiety trigger. As you can imagine, the worry response tends to be much more intense and the body tends to react very quickly. The reason this is so important to understand is because anxiety triggers tend to be the same for everyone. So while you may be experiencing anxiety, this isn’t necessarily the case.
The reason we can identify fear is because of our brain’s response to it. We are hardwired to notice our own fear in the first place. We can take this for granted and think, “Ah, that’s nothing. I can handle this.” But while doing this, our brain becomes very vigilant and it begins to recognize the fear as a threat. Thus, we begin to attach to it and it becomes the trigger that causes the anxiety.
