If you are like most people, you know exactly what you want on a first date. You know what you want with your date, and you know what you want to talk about. Most of us are pretty good at the initial conversation so it doesn’t take much to turn the conversation into a long conversation and that can turn into a disaster if you don’t know what to say.
Some aspects of a first date are easy. It’s just, you know what you want, you know what you want to do, and you know what you want to talk about. If you don’t know what to say, you’ll be stuck with half a date, and that’s where most people make the mistake of talking about their problems. Don’t do it.
The biggest mistake I see people make is when they try to talk about their problems and their feelings. They forget how to listen. Listen to the person you are talking to, listen to what they have to say, and then listen to what they have to say. If you dont know what to do, then you can always go find a therapist.
This is a rule of thumb we live by. We say, “Oh, I’m going to do something nice for you.” We say, “Oh, I’m going to do something nice for your family.” We say, “Oh, I’m going to do something cool for your friends.” But we don’t say anything. We don’t even know what to say.
These are all basic things that most people forget to do, but we’re human. The problem is when we don’t do them. We can fall into the habit of just saying, “Oh, I’ll do this thing.” When we’re in a conversation we want to be the person who says, “Oh, I’ll do this thing for you.” We want to be the person who is the best friend we can make for ourselves.
We all want to be the person who has the best friend we can make, but we don’t always know how to do it. Sometimes we just say to ourselves, “I wish my friends were like this.” We want to be the person who makes the best friends, and that is very hard to do. We cant change your friends. We cant change ourselves. What we can do is change the way we think and act around the people we love.
Ok, this one’s a little more complicated than just saying, “I wish my friends were like this.” We want to be the person who is the best friend we can make for ourselves, but we dont always know how to do it. Sometimes we just say to ourselves, I wish my friends were like this. We want to be the person who makes the best friends, and that is very hard to do. We cant change your friends. We cant change ourselves.
If we want to have the best friends we can, we have to change ourselves. This is a hard pill to swallow, especially when it comes to friends. We can only make our friends better, we cant make them the best friends they can be, and we can’t help but make them worse. So we need to change ourselves.
I know I said this on the podcast, but if you’re going to make friends for life, you need to change yourself. You need a good first date, you need a good first kiss, you need a good first job, you need to be someone who will put the other person first. You can’t do that if you’re someone in your head who is going to put a wall around the relationship.
