I had to get out of that marriage and I didn’t know exactly how to handle the situation. It was like that for a while, but the divorce was the catalyst that led me to this point.
I’m not sure exactly how that came to be. I remember thinking “we’re never going to be able to sleep together again.” I think I probably just wanted my wife to be happy and I felt betrayed. I also think I made it clear that I was happy when I was with her, so I would have felt justified in continuing to “get back” with her even though I knew how it happened.
I think this is a case of that. It’s like if you always get what you want, you also don’t get what you don’t want.
The fact is that we all have our “what ifs”. What if I’d said the wrong thing to you at the right time? What if I’d said the wrong thing to you when the right one would have been the truth? It’s happened to me a few times, but I think that all the time I would have gotten what I wanted anyway.
I think we all do. There are many of us who were on the receiving end of such hurtful behavior. Like the woman who said something to you that you did not like, or the friend who told you something you didn’t like. Or the person who said or did something to you that you did not like. It’s part of human nature, and it’s why it’s so hard to have a healthy, respectful relationship with anyone.
Although it’s not a perfect analogy, I think the best way to describe this is as a pattern of behavior, or as an idea that could happen, but never actually does. For example, a friend of mine told me that her ex-boyfriend was a jerk, and this made me feel like her friend was not being true.
That’s sort of what I was trying to say when I said “pattern of behavior.” I have a lot of friends who I like, and they all know and like me too. But they don’t like that I’m like them or who I am, which makes me feel like I’m not good enough for them. It’s a pattern of behavior that I don’t like, and this is not a good thing.
This is a problem as well. Why do people just assume that their friends are evil and not like them? It’s a very common thing to see in my social media feeds. I don’t even post pictures of my kids, I just don’t know what I look like. Because if I do, people assume that I am a terrible person. I didn’t know it was this hard to be the friend of your friend.
A lot of it has to do with the way we relate to others: We expect that, if we are friends with a certain person, then we will also be friends with some other person. However, there are plenty of people who are not friends with each other (including the people who are friends with us) so how can we expect that everyone will like us? There are more than enough people who don’t want to see us fail in life.